Less Of The Same

In college, when I was first dating my wife, we used to rent a movie to watch together almost every night. Back then we had to go to Blockbuster to pick something out.

It was always an event. We’d slowly walk the aisles and see what caught our fancy. Sometimes it was something new - an action flick or an Oscar winner, perhaps - and other times we might go for a classic. I remember jolting across the store, excitedly holding up a DVD to show Stephanie.

“This one!” I’d say in a whisper.

She’d smile and get excited, too. Then we’d wait in line, head home, and check another film off our must-see list.

I was thinking this week about how much I miss that.

These days everything feels the same. I shop for groceries, talk to clients, watch movies, read the news, order supplies, and fill my time all in one 1920x1080 window. It’s cold and lifeless and unenjoyable. There’s no separation between one activity and the next. None of it feels special. Everything happens on a screen and it all blurs together. Every single day it’s more of the same.

When you browse through Netflix in search of a new movie, you’re being shown a set of films chosen by an algorithm. It’s all based on your previous viewing history and what a computer thinks you might enjoy. But when we would walk around Blockbuster it wasn’t anything like that. There was no mission — we were waiting for a film to catch our eye and call out to us.

Sometimes it would be the box art, like a shiny case or bright colors. Other times it might be an employee pick or a recommended film. And sometimes we’d just take a gamble on a film and get really lucky. However we chose, though, it was our choice and that made it special.

We spent so much time at Blockbuster that we came up with a game to play while we were browsing the racks. We’d look at the other people in the store and see if we could match them to their car out front, based only on their looks and behavior. Sometimes we’d have to mosey around the store for twenty minutes, just so we could wait for someone to leave and see if we were right.

Those are the little moments that I miss most. Each activity was accompanied by its own unique set of characteristics: a special aroma, an endless list of inside jokes, background noise, and an atmosphere all its own. Now there’s a sameness to everything that makes it hard for me to recall when I stopped doing one activity and started the next. I’ve grown weary of that — I want less of the same.

The pandemic has exacerbated this problem. Running errands right now is a huge hassle. Lines are long, there are too many rules, and the neighborhood still feels weird. It’s just easier to automate those things, so we find ourselves ordering things online to avoid the chaos. It’s just so convenient. But I miss browsing the aisles and picking stuff out for myself. I miss being able to differentiate between the various parts of my day.

It’s not only the pandemic, though. This has been happening for a very long time. That’s why I’m on the search for more mystery. I want more things in my life to remind me of those little moments that make life worth living — typewriters, cameras, classic movies, you name it. And, I even have a podcast in the works, too.

If it seems like I’m always going on about this that’s because it’s literally all I think about. I’m more sedentary than I’ve ever been in my life. All of my work is on a computer right now and a good deal of my spare time seems to involve a screen, too. It’s driving me nuts. So, I’ve been forcing myself to break free of my addictions and search for memorable experiences in other ways.

As I often say, none of my favorite experiences have ever taken place on a screen. Not a single one. In fifty years I’m not going to count any of my screen time amongst my favorite memories. My favorite memories are all moments in the real world — when enthusiasm and serendipity collide in an unexpected and unforgettable fashion. Those are the things I’ll always remember.

There are too many to name here, but I’ll leave you with one…

It’s 2008, I’m meandering around Blockbuster looking for the perfect movie. Stephanie is somewhere else in the store, doing the same. We’re on the hunt.

And then, at the back of the store, I see it. The one. The ideal film, almost glistening in the light.

I reach for it and as I do my hand meets someone else’s hand and I look up to see Stephanie’s face. We die laughing.

“This one!”

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About Mark Toland

Mark Toland is an award-winning mind reader and two-time TEDx Speaker. His mind blowing skills have been featured on NBC, ABC, FOX, CBS, NPR, WGN, Sirius XM, and more. Mark’s blog is a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a professional entertainer, full of creative thoughts for creative people. Sign up below so you’ll never miss a post.

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Variables

Part of my job is being able to walk into literally any venue you could imagine and put on the best show I possibly can. Since I work for a wide range of clients — corporate groups, private events, universities — I end up in some pretty random locations. I’ve performed in Vegas showrooms, rooftop deck, poolside, giant theater, church basements, lecture halls, arenas, airplane hangars, and more.

Early on I remember being very nervous walking into a new location. Everything about the location was foreign to me. I didn’t know how people would be seated, what kind of microphone I’d be using, where to situate myself so everyone could have a good view, etc. During those early shows it felt like I was re-learning everything every time I did a show.

I quickly learned that I needed to eliminate as many variables as possible, just to make my life easier. I intuitively realized that there would always be things out of my control but if I could limit those things then I could give them more of my focus.

So, I started small — with only the things under my immediate control. I worked really hard to have a solid show that I knew inside and out. I had a script that never changed and worked tirelessly to make sure I knew it by heart. Once the show was solid I was able to go onstage without thinking about it. I knew it was good so I could start to enjoy myself, create memorable moments with volunteers, and pay attention to the stuff that was out of the norm.

I also had to learn my gear. I mastered my microphone, my music player, my choreography, the way I select my volunteers, the way I walk onstage, my intro, the length of my show, and more. I rehearsed everything so that there would be no surprises and every time I went onstage I would be confident with the things that were always under my control.

I also learned to deal with clients. (You can’t be afraid to ask a client for what you need. Just frame it as a benefit to them: “I want you to get your money’s worth!” Your clients will respect you for knowing what you need and helping them to have make it a success.) Now I request a certain room layout, stage stairs in certain positions, a particular kind of microphone for volunteers, and request that no service staff can be milling about during the show and that the bar must be closed or moved to another room. (You’d be surprised how many little decisions go into making a show successful!) All of these things are finalized before I arrive at the venue so I have less to worry about.

Once I took control of these things my shows improved dramatically. When I arrived at the venue I wasn’t worried about my show, the microphone, or other things. Instead, I could survey the room and say to myself “Hmm, okay not very good acoustics in here, how can we fix that?” or “Wow, that column is going to make it hard to see…I’ll have to take extra steps to make sure I keep that side of the room engaged!” Since I knew everything else was good to go, I was left to turn my attention to the one variable in my job: the room I’m performing in.

Sometimes I’ll be onstage and something will go horribly wrong, but it rarely has to do with the show itself. It’s usually something in the room. Someone broke a wineglass, the venue loses their electricity, the audience has had a lot to drink before the show, the service staff interrupts the performance….you never know what’s going to happen. But, since my show is solid and I’ve worked on the things that I can control, I’m always ready to deal with whatever surprises might present themselves.

A few years ago I saw a fantastic show on Broadway. The performer was halfway through the second act when someone called out from the back row of the orchestra, “Help me! Someone help me!” Everyone in the audience gasped and grew quiet, but the performer didn’t freak out. He calmly stepped to the edge of the stage and, almost in a whisper, asked, “Is everyone okay?”

A moment later a stagehand stepped out from the wings and whispered in his ear. He addressed the whole audience: “Someone wasn’t feeling well and had to step out. Everything is fine.” Then, he picked up where he left off and continued with the show. He never lost the attention of the audience, nor any of the momentum he had worked so hard to build. We were under his control at all times, all because he knew his act inside and out so he could give his full attention to the unique nature of that particular audience on that specific night.

Look, I’m sure some other performers will read this and say “Yeah, yeah, these are obvious things…” but that’s simply not true. No one tells you this stuff, at least no one told me. I had to figure it out step by step, show by show. I had to make mistakes and learn from them quickly. I learned it all on my own, but I’m writing it here so you won’t have to.

The point is, no matter your field, there will always be things that are out of your control. So, the goal should be to master the things that are under your control, that way you can direct your focus to the variables.

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About Mark Toland

Mark Toland is an award-winning mind reader and two-time TEDx Speaker. His mind blowing skills have been featured on NBC, ABC, FOX, CBS, NPR, WGN, Sirius XM, and more. Mark’s blog is a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a professional entertainer, full of creative thoughts for creative people. Sign up below so you’ll never miss a post.

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50 Ways To Promote Yourself Without Social Media

I deleted my social media accounts almost one year ago, to the horror of some of my agents, clients, and friends.

“How will you promote yourself?” they asked, as if there was no other marketing option except to be on every social media account.

The truth is, since deleting social media I have had more work than any previous year of the past decade, not to mention I’ve been happier, calmer, less anxious, and had far more spare time to be creative, write, read, and enjoy my life.

If you choose to delete your social media accounts, too, just know that there are plenty of other options. Not everything happens online and you don’t have to rely on those networks to keep busy. I’m living proof that there’s another way forward and, just in case you don’t believe me, here are 1010 Ways To Promote Yourself Without Social Media so you can follow in my footsteps.

1. Your Personal Website - Use Squarespace, Wix, Wordpress, etc. to design a stylish website. Search for design inspiration online so it will really stand out. Remember: everything matters.
2. Search Engine Optimization - Spend time to get your site to rank high for relevant search results. Or, hire an expert to do it for you.
3. Paid Search Advertising - Set a budget aside to run online search ads and drive people to your site.
4. Start A YouTube Channel - Create topical, engaging video content to educate and entertain potential fans and clients. (I don’t think of YouTube like other social media platforms and still need videos to help promote my services.)
5. Write A Blog - Some people say blogging is dead but you’re reading mine, aren’t you?
6. Networking Events - Try an in-person or virtual meet-up event to meet other professionals.
7. Direct Mail - It may seem old school, but try sending a well-designed postcard to potential clients. It’ll stand out from the usual barrage of tweets and facebook notifications.
8. Carry Business Cards - Design an eye-catching business card and carry them everywhere. You never know when you’ll need it. (I really like Moo.com’s designs.)
9. Personal Letters - I love this one. Send a handwritten (or typewritten) note to everyone you meet. If you traded business cards like I mentioned for #8 you’ll always have someone’s contact info. They’ll be blown away when a personal note arrives at their desk.
10. Word Of Mouth - This is the number 1 way I get booked for events. When people see my show they start to imagine me at their event, too. The same goes for virtual events — online attendees can imagine how great the entertainment would be for their event and often reach out to hire me for a future date.
11. Be Consistent - Share content on a regular schedule. Whether it’s a daily blog or weekly YouTube videos your followers will come to expect a certain schedule from you. If it seems like it’s not getting anywhere that’s not the time to let up. Double down and stay consistent, it will pay off in the long run.
12. Direct E-Mails - I try to stay out of people’s inboxes as much as possible, but often the best way to get booked for a show is to contact the promoter directly. Keep those e-mails short and simple and you’ll often get a positive response.
13. Attend Trade Shows - Consider attending an expo to promote your services. I go to booking conferences to demo my services for potential audiences, so these events exist for all disciplines. Display your art proudly and be prepared with your elevator pitch so people can sense your enthusiasm for what you do.
14. Build A Mailing List - Build a list of e-mail addresses from former projects, clients, expos, networking events, and more. Be sure you have permission to e-mail those people. When you have a big project coming up you can send out an announcement. Or, you can do it more regularly:
15. Send Out E-Mail Newsletters - If you have exciting monthly updates for your work, consider sending a newsletter out each month to all of the people on your list. Give the readers something of value (a discount code, special early access, bonus content, etc.) and they’ll be your fans for life.
16. Send Thank You Notes - Along the same lines as #9, remember to always send a thank you note to clients you work for. Not an e-mail, not a text — a handwritten or typewritten note to the client with your business card enclosed. This is a great way to get future work from someone who already knows how great you are.
17. Pre-Made Graphics - Just because you aren’t on social media doesn’t mean everyone else won’t be, too. Chances are many of the people you work for will still promote your work there. If so, great! Let them do it. If you have some graphics pre-made for them, it’ll make their life a whole lot easier. I have various promo images, posters, and videos correctly sized and ready to go for my clients. They can pick which ones they want to use to promote the event on their website or social media accounts. (For images I like to use Canva, a super easy way to quickly design beautiful graphics.)
18. Create an EPK - EPK stands for Electronic Press Kit. You can have a separate page on your website for it OR create a downloadable folder that clients can access when needed. Your EPK should include the best highlights from your work: press credits, media appearances, your best videos, photos, testimonials, etc. When a client contacts you, send them to your EPK so they can have all of your important information in one place.
19. Create A Demo Reel - Hire someone to film and edit a demo reel for your services. Or do it yourself, if that’s something you’re into. Remember: you only want to cry once.
20. Have Good Quality Photos - I’m married to a phenomenal photographer. Sounds like a great business decision, right? Not true! She taught herself photography to help with my branding, then turned it into a career. We’ve invested countless hours and dollars into good photos for my website and promo. Want to stand out in your field? Find a local photographer and pay them to help you updated your current portfolio.
21. Collect Testimonials - If people can’t see you in action (Demo, #19) or see an image of your work (Photo, #20), then they’ll want to hear what other people think about your work. When a project goes well ask that client for a testimonial. Create a page on your website for testimonials and update it often. (Don’t forget to add those to your EPK, too!)
22. Request References - Another idea is to ask some of your favorite clients to be a reference for future opportunities. When someone else requests your information give them a short list (3-4) of references so they can reach out to your former clients and get an idea of what to expect.
23. Produce Your Own Event - Every year since 2012 I’ve been producing my own events across the US, both in Chicago and at numerous Fringe Festivals. Consider doing the same for your work — an art exhibition, a weekly show, a virtual event, or more. It’ll give you something to mention in your newsletter (#15). Partnering with a venue that wants you to succeed will help to get the word out, too.
24. Online Listings - A great way to promote your own event (#23) is to add it to as many local directories as possible. Most newspapers have a calendar of upcoming events, so search for those and spend part of your day adding your event to the list. Most cities usually have other options, too, so search for “Things To Do In (insert your city here)” and see what pops up. The more listings you get added to, the better.
25. Press Releases - Write a press release to announce your event (#15). Send it to as many places as possible. (PRWeb is one of many places that can help with press release distribution.)
26. Get Interviewed On A Podcast - Being a guest on a podcast is a great way to improve your credibility within your field. (Join Matchmaker so you podcast creators can find you and invite you on their shows.)
27. Start Your Own Podcast - Starting your own podcast could be really useful if you have a unique point of view that people might be interested in. It’s easy to record interviews virtually now, so there’s no excuse not to have guests on your show anytime. (It can be a bit of an investment for gear and a bit of a learning curve for promotion but start here.)
28. Get On The Radio - I’ve been on the radio 20+ times in Chicago and something great always comes out of it. If nothing else, you get a great soundbite that you can add to a demo reel (#19) or type up for your testimonials page (21).
29. Get On TV - A spot on the local news can work wonders for you. It gives you credibility and visibility in ways that you might not be able to get on your own. And, it gives you a clip that you can use to promote your services for years to come.
30. Hire A Publicist - Getting on the radio or TV on your own is possible - I’ve done it multiple times! But, sometimes it’s easier to work with an expert. Find a publicist and tell them you want some media appearances. It’ll cost you, but the exposure is well worth it.
31. Write A Book - Some of my friends do motivational speaking and have written self-help books to promote their services. It gives you something to sell on your website (#1), something to give to clients as a thank you (16), and something to talk about during a TV appearance (29). You can self-publish books easily on Amazon or even just offer a free e-book to people who sign up for your mailing list (14).
32. Work With Agents - Agents have tons of connections and can save you the trouble of finding those clients on your own. If you’re good at what you do (#50) and keep their clients happy, they’ll want to work with you for years.
33. Giveaways - At your events (#23) consider having some sort of giveaway. I’ve experimented with posters, stickers, t-shirts, buttons, and more. Giving people a memento of the experience with you will serve as a reminder when they’re searching for what you offer in the future.
34. Posters - Speaking of posters, they can be incredibly handy when used correctly. I had massive success at Fringe Festivals after I hired a designer to create a stunning graphic for my tour. If you’re promoting an event (#10).
35. Find Your True Fans - All of the things in this list so far are ways to locate your 1,000 True Fans. If you can do that, then those people will sing your praises and promote you for free everywhere you go.
36. Partner With Other Entrepreneurs - Find other like-minded people to work with. You could split the cost of an expo booth (#13), have a join podcast (27), hold events together (23), or more.
37. Hold A Virtual Event - Online events are here to stay. Put together a virtual show, seminar, workshop, class, etc. and send it to your newsletter (#15).
38. Get Creative - Sometimes the best marketing ideas are really random ideas. Think viral videos, skywriters, pop-up shops, etc. Even if you’re on a small budget, you can still find ways to get the word out.
39. Hold A Contest - Entice your followers to spread the word by holding a giveaway. (A lot of creators seem to use Gleam for their giveaways, although I don’t have any personal experience.) Just make sure the prizes you’re giving away are worth it!
40. Do A Livestream - Go live on YouTube to show off a new product, host a trivia night, give a tour of your new studio, or more.
41. Publicity Stunts - Do something extreme or exciting to promote yourself. In the past I’ve predicted the outcome of March Madness, guessed the headlines of The Chicago Tribune, and even rode a bicycle through the streets of Chicago completely blindfolded. All of those stunts landed me multiple press appearances and gig requests. It’s all about getting creative.
42. Share Your Knowledge - Nothing bad ever comes out of helping others, so always be prepared to share what you’ve learned. You could do a free online workshop, write a helpful blog posts, or make video tutorials and post the to your YouTube Channel (#4).
43. Use Pinterest - Pinterest is more of a search engine than a social platform. If your audience uses Pinterest then it can be a great way for people to discover your content.
44. Donate Your Services - I don’t think you should work for free often, but if you find a cause you believe in or a large-scale event that you can be part of then it may be worth it. Always barter for inclusion in any promotional materials, the ability to promote yourself on-site, etc.
45. Online Reviews - Honestly, I’m not a fan of online reviews. I don’t like giving random people so much control over my business. But, sites like Yelp, Angie’s List, Google Places, and others can be an important way for some businesses to be found by potential customers, so it might be worth looking into for your specific work. Just be cautious because once you join those sites it’s often impossible to remove your listing.
46. Tell Everyone You Know - Practice talking about your brand by telling everyone you know. Your family and friends can often be the best promoters when it comes to spreading the word.
47. Join A Club - Find a local club or organization to join. It could be a speaker’s bureau, an entrepreneurial group, a small business association, or more. Attend meetings and contribute so other members will remember you and want to utilize your services when the moment arises.
48. Chamber of Commerce - Get involved with your local chamber of commerce so people can put a face to your brand.
49. Traditional Advertising - There are dozens of other ways to advertise your services than just social media: TV, Radio, podcasts, newspapers, magazines, etc. Don’t be annoying and don’t go crazy, just concentrate on your niche and give people a valuable product and/or service.
50. Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You - If your product is terrible, social media can’t do anything to save you. But, if you have a great product then people will notice. Work hard to stand out in your field and keep your clients happy. The referrals will start pouring in — I promise.

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About Mark Toland

Mark Toland is an award-winning mind reader and two-time TEDx Speaker. His mind blowing skills have been featured on NBC, ABC, FOX, CBS, NPR, WGN, Sirius XM, and more. Mark’s blog is a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a professional entertainer, full of creative thoughts for creative people. Sign up below so you’ll never miss a post.

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The First Time

It took a while to get to me but I finally saw the clip of the twin brothers listening and reacting to Phil Collins’s “In The Air Tonight” for the first time. If you haven’t seen it yet I promise it’s worth it:

“I ain’t never seen nobody drop a beat 3 minutes into a song!”

What a great video. It’s so joyful and fun that it brought tears to my eyes, and I started thinking about all the times I’d experienced something for the first time, too.

I remember seeing the Pacific Ocean for the first time when I was a freshman in college. My friend Angela took me to Santa Monica and laughed while I stood spellbound as the water rushed over my bare feet. I was transfixed by the sheer enormity of the water meeting the sky at the horizon, something I hadn’t experienced before growing up in the midwest.

I remember seeing the 20th anniversary showing of “E.T. the Extra Terrestrial” for the first time back in 2002. It blew me away. I’d never seen anything like it. I put the poster on my wall and would stare at it every day, dreaming about the universe, movies, and everything in-between.

I remember the first time I came to Chicago. I was here for a few theater school auditions and spent a couple days exploring the city. I went shopping at Macy’s, walked along the river downtown, and went to a fancy steakhouse. It was the quintessential small-town-kid-visits-the-big-city story. I’d never seen buildings so tall or taxis drive so fast. Come to think of it - I hadn’t really seen a taxi before. It was fantastic.

The list goes on and on. The first time I went overseas, the first time I tried sushi, the first time I rode a bike. There’s something utterly magical about that initial experience with something brand new.

I’m always amazed at how often people will approach me after my shows to tell me that I’m the first magician or mind reader they’ve ever seen. My craft is so ubiquitous in my life that it’s easy to forget that many people in my audience are having a brand new experience.

It’s a constant reminder of the responsibility to elevate what I do in the minds of the audience, but it’s also a huge opportunity to gift those audience members with an unforgettable experience of the first time they experienced a live mind reading show.

Everyone has a list of things they remember seeing for “the first time”. The things that make that list are moments that lingered far after they occurred. They’re moments that rattle people to their core and stick with them for years.

As artists we have a choice every time we interact with a new audience: Are we going to be just another blip on the radar of their life experiences? Or, are we going to let them sink their toes into the sand and feel the ocean water rush over their feet for the first time?

I know my answer. What about you?

Dig Deeper

There’s a moment that keeps popping up during a lot of the programs I enjoy. It happens on NPR, it happens on talks shows, it happens on the news.

The interviewer will ask their guest a question, wait for an answer, and then…just move on. They don’t acknowledge the answer. They don’t expand on it or get into a deeper conversation. They just cross that question off their list and ask the next one. It drives me crazy.

I also see this moment happen in live shows (remember those?) that I go to. The performer asks a volunteer a personal question, the volunteer responds, and the performer plunges ahead with their script without even responding to the volunteer’s answer.

When you ignore someone’s response you’re missing on a huge opportunity to create a memorable moment. Chances are the first answer they give isn’t going to be all that exciting, but if you’re willing to dig deeper then you’ll likely encounter something unforgettable.

This is part of the reason why I love long form podcasts like “The Joe Rogan Experience”, “Under The Skin” with Russell Brand, or “WTF” with Marc Maron. Often the conversations on those shows can go on for several hours. They’re full of tangents and interruptions but they always cover interesting, uncharted territory. If I was going to diagram traditional media I would draw a straight line from point A to point B. But a marathon conversation on a podcast? That’s more like a meandering, squiggly line. It’s messy, but ultimately it covers more ground and is much more compelling.

Much of the intoxicating appeal of those podcasts (and others) is the host’s insatiable curiosity to learn as much as possible about their guests. They want to get into the weeds. For every interesting answer they receive, they have 2 or 3 follow up questions. They get philosophical. They get deep. They want to hash things out on the air, even if it isn’t quite as polished as a late night talk show. They don’t have talking points — they’re just talking. And I can’t stop listening.

As always, everything comes down to connection. Every encounter we have is an opportunity to leave a lasting impression on another person. But that’s never going to happen if you aren’t actively listening and acknowledging what other people have to say.

No one remembers the people who barely make an attempt to hold a conversation. But everyone remembers the person who asks thoughtful questions, listens to the answers, and responds accordingly.

The next time you have a chance encounter with someone, pay attention to what you’re doing and treat that exchange like one of those squiggly lines. Don’t be in a hurry to get onto your next question or your next task. Just listen to what they have to say and see where it leads you. Be interested and inquisitive. Dig deeper.

The Experience

I was watching a random YouTube video the other day and the creator said something I really appreciated.

“I’ve turned off all the mid-roll ads,” he said, speaking directly into the camera. “I feel like it ruins your experience and I don’t like that.”

If you aren’t familiar, mid-roll ads are those commercials that play halfway through a video, right when it's starting to get good. They’re incredibly annoying, but they’re also an important part of a YouTube Channel’s revenue.

Basically, this creator was saying that he was willing to sacrifice some of his income in order to improve the viewer’s experience. How refreshing!

Usually it seems that brands care more about my money than they care about my experience. It drives me crazy.

I’ve been watching the NBA Bubble games since they returned and they’ve started showing commercials between free throws! It’s insane. Here I am getting into the sports drama unfolding before me and suddenly the game goes silent on half the screen while I have to watch a promo for a video game on the other.

When I’m reading an article on The New York Times subscription I’M PAYING FOR, I still have to scroll past lingerie and real estate ads after every other paragraph. It’s infuriating.

Sometimes I do gigs alongside other performers and they insist on promoting their services during the show we’re already doing. It always makes me uncomfortable. The audience already paid for tickets, can’t we stop selling to them and give them a killer show?

Yes, I know I could use an ad blocker for the online content but sometimes they don’t work. Also, I try to keep ads turned on for creators I care about so they can continue to earn revenue. I don’t blame the creators for the annoying ads - they’re just working within a system that doesn’t give a shit prioritizes money over my enjoyment of the platform.

I also have turned off all of my ad preferences. That means I get served really random ads that aren’t specific to me in any way. As a result, I constantly notice them and get pulled out of what I’m doing. I think when you let the ads become tailored to you that you grow numb to them. You start seeing ads for things that you may enjoy, but grow numb to how miserable the experience around those ads has become.

(As for the NBA…well, they only care about the bag. But my fellow performers should know better…)

I was so grateful to that YouTuber for turning off his mid-roll ads. It made me so aware of how much better my experience was when I wasn’t being constantly inundated with advertisements and interruptions. As a result, he gained a new subscriber.

If you value my experience with your product you’ll get a fan for life. I’ll join your mailing list, subscribe to your channel, and buy tickets to your show. From start to finish, give me the best experience possible, then leave me alone. Don’t try to up-sell me, don’t solicit reviews, don’t spam me with future promos. Just blow me away and l promise I’ll be more than happy to spread the word for you for years to come.

Is It Still Worth It To Live In The City?

I moved to the city to chase my dreams. It was for access to performance venues, classes, other performers, and more opportunities.

I grew up in a small town and realized early on that if I wanted to be in show business I needed to move somewhere with proximity to what I wanted to be doing. So I went to school in Los Angeles and tried my best in SoCal for awhile. Then, after we got married, I moved to Chicago.

Naively, I thought that living in a big city would lead to massive opportunities and that eventually I might break through or “be discovered”. In truth, the biggest perk of living in a big city has been living close to good airports. That’s right - the main benefit of living here has been the ease with which I can travel to do my job in other locations.

Don’t get me wrong - I really enjoy Chicago. It’s easily one of the most beautiful cities in the entire world. I love the culture, the food, the museums, the community. I love my neighborhood and the lakefront trail. And up until the pandemic I was working events in the city like crazy, for a wide range of clients. New venues for magical performers have popped up in the city in recent years and I’ve created other opportunities on my own. But now there’s Covid-19 and no end in sight, and I’m really starting to wonder what the point of living here is.

I moved here to follow my dreams but no theaters are open right now and no one is hosting events. I’m paying a lot of rent and taxes so I can enjoy the zoo, museums, restaurants, sporting events, and other amenities that the city provides, but none of those are open right now either. I’m fortunate that thanks to my virtual shows, I’m still going to have a solid year of shows from the safety of my own apartment.

So, if I can do my job out of my apartment and still make a decent living, couldn’t I be doing that anywhere? Why stay in the city when it isn’t giving me what I need and I can do the exact same work I’ve been doing somewhere less expensive?

These are the thoughts I’ve been having for the past couple months. The pandemic has really forced me to consider my priorities. It’s a long list and none of it includes living in a box in the sky with nowhere else to go. I’m torn between the pull of city life and the idyllic lifestyle of a desolate cabin in the mountains. In a perfect world I could hole up in a cabin to write and read all day, leaving only to head out for a run of shows around the country for a few days before returning for some more peace and quiet in the woods.

I remember people saying “Oh, you’ll grow tired of the city and move to the suburbs someday…” But that’s not what this is. I don’t want to live on a cul-de-sac or hang out at the country club. I either want to be in the middle of everything or in the middle of nowhere.

Maybe I didn’t need the city after all. Or maybe things have changed and I don’t need it anymore. Maybe I’ll have a little slower internet speed or have to drive a little further to the airport, but it turns out that I can do my job from anywhere. So, if I can find a way to sustain online work, I may be living in that cabin sooner than you think.

UPDATE: Six Months Without Social Media

It’s been six months since I deleted my social media accounts. Six months without constantly scrolling Twitter, without trying to build my Instagram following, and without constantly updating my Facebook page with upcoming show announcements.

After a month I finally started breaking the urge to check my phone every five minutes. Not having those apps on my phone or computer meant there was no need to constantly check my devices. Plus, eliminating those apps caused me to eliminate other apps that were wasting my time, too. Now my phone only has one main page of apps and I’m trying to whittle it down even more. I only use apps that are necessary for my business (banking, calendar, show tech, air travel, hotel), health (meal tracking, running tracker, gym membership), city use (parking, GPS, weather), productivity (to-do lists, reminders), and creativity (photo, video, podcasts, music).

No YouTube, no news apps, no e-mail, and no games. I’ve tried to make my phone as unappealing as possible. Deleting my social media was a gateway drug to eliminating even more distractions from my life and now I’M AN ADDICT! GIVE ME A HIT OF THAT PURE, UNINTERRUPTED FREE TIME BABY!!!!

That was my observation after one month. At that time I was curious about three other things:

1. Would anyone even notice I had left social media?
2. Would anyone try to talk me back onto it?
3. Would my business suffer?

The answer to number 1 is a resounding NO. No one cared. No one noticed I was gone and no one asked about it. The truth is, any friendships that mattered were real life, in-person relationships with my closest friends. Everything else online were shallow connections that were part of a total of “fans” or “followers”. They weren’t real friends and, as such, they didn’t know I went missing and I haven’t missed them either.

I’m still in touch with the people that matter and when we see each other we actually have things to talk about.

As for Number 2, there have been a few people tell me it’s a necessity for what I do. Management, agents, friends, even family have been somewhat insistent that social media is a requirement for success in my field. But, I’ve resisted their calls. If major celebrities can succeed without it, then surely I can, too. There have to be other ways to find success as an entertainer, right?

Which brings us to Number 3. Has my business suffered without social media?

NO! It hasn’t. If anything, it’s getting better because I have more time to focus on things that actually make my show and business better, without getting caught up in the constant need to create content for various online accounts. And, inquiries for my services have stayed the same which means people weren’t finding me through social media before and they definitely aren’t now.

There are a few annoying things. The media loves to quote twitter or instagram comments like it’s actual news. It’s ridiculous. And I’m blown away at how many times some of my friends say something like “Did you see such-and-such on facebook?” without realizing how weird it is to be so fully immersed in a world that only exists online.

After a few months, things got pretty normal without social media. I was using my phone differently. I was reading more and spending my time doing other things. I wasn’t thinking about other people’s instagram posts or worried about someone’s comment on my facebook feed. In fact, I wasn’t thinking about twitter, instagram, or facebook at all.

Then, just a couple weeks ago I realized something else interesting had happened to me. I was no longer feeling the impulse to share everything I saw. I mean, it had been happening for months but it was the first time I realized it. I wasn’t compelled to snap a photo of a sunset or the skyline for my followers any longer. I didn’t even want to take a photo at all. I was just experiencing things as they happened.

Without those impulses I’ve successfully been able to rewire my brain and return to life pre-social media. I was back to getting the most out of my day-to-day existence without the need for “likes” and “shares”.

When I see something interesting now I think of individual people that would enjoy it. It’s just so much better to think “Wow! Frank would really love that” and tell them about it, than needing to update my instagram story because I need to “stay current” or whatever.

When people find out I don’t have social media I’m usually met with the same response: “Oh, I’m so jealous! I wish I could do that.” Even so, they always have offer some pushback, too. Here’s a few concerns I’ve actually heard:

• “You don’t have social media? But, where do you get your memes?” (Kill me, now.)
• “Don’t you want to know what’s going on in the world?”
• “I can’t do that because my groups and clubs are on there…” (The list goes on and on.)

As Cal Newport writes in “Deep Work”, all of these concerns are very minor. They aren’t things that are contributing greatly to your life. If anything, these things are getting in the way of what (I suspect) you really wish you were doing.

Of all of those concerns the only one that really stands out is the need to be informed. Memes are a waste of time and your groups might feel important but are they really? Do you really think they’re making you better? Or, are they making you constantly compare yourself to other people or keeping your head filled with other people’s ideas? Just a thought…

Staying informed is important, especially in our current situation with the pandemic, protests, an election year, and the biggest race series of all-time. Without social media you can still be aware of what’s going on.

I read The New York Times (except for some of their awful op-eds), The Atlantic, and more. I listen to news podcasts and tune-in to limited news for major updates. And, I get neighborhood alerts when things like traffic shut-downs and protests are affecting my area. Yes, the information takes a little longer to get to me but that’s the idea. I don’t need to know things the moment they happen because that’s not a healthy way to live.

The interesting thing about everyone I’ve talked to is that it seems everyone hates their life on social media but they think it’s impossible to break away.

Up until now I’ve been telling people “I’m not telling you to delete social media, but it’s been really good for me” but I think I’m done with that. I want you to come over to the dark side with me.

QUIT SOCIAL MEDIA.

Do it. You’ll be so glad you did. You don’t need it like you think you do. And your life will be much better.

Do it because you’re reclaiming your time and using your hours for better things.

Do it because you care about your privacy.

Do it because social media companies are destroying democracy.

Do it because, deep down, you’ve been meaning to for a long time.

Now’s the time. Start today and you’re only six months behind me.

See you on the other side.

"Deep Work" by Cal Newport | My Favorite Books #2

There came a point a few years ago when I realized I had lost the ability to fully focus on anything I was doing. I couldn’t finish a news article, I’d get distracted while writing, I couldn’t go two minutes at the gym without checking my phone. I was always the sort of person who could fully concentrate on an idea or a project until it was finished. So what had changed?

Well, quite a lot.

For one, I was addicted to my phone. I’d grown accustomed to always being connect no matter where I was. I’d scroll twitter in the elevator, text in line at airport security, and watch youtube videos to fall asleep.

Plus, I was caught up in the constant need to be as productive as possible. My inbox became my biggest nemesis. I’d check emails all hours of the day and respond as quickly as possible.

Not to mention: social media, the constant distractions of being self-employed, television, and more.

I had a problem.

So, I fixed it. I read “Deep Work” by Cal Newport.

If you’re in the same state I was in, then this book just might be life-changing for you, too.

Newport coined the phrase “deep work” and defines it as follows:

“Activities performed in a state of distraction-free concentration that push your cognitive capabilities to their limits.”

He favors deep work - intensive, thoughtful tasks that are difficult but worthwhile - such as writing difficult papers, books, skilled trades, and more, over shallow work, such as checking e-mail and scrolling social media. Reading his approach to his own work really shifted my own focus back onto mine.

Here were a few of my takeaways:

1. Don’t spend as much time on social media. (I took this to heart and deleted all of mine at the end of 2019. More on that later this week.)
2. Set your work hours and stick to it. Newport shows how he was able to maximize his productivity with deep work, while sticking to a strict work schedule which allowed him to still have time for other projects and his family.
3. Recognize the shallow work in your life and work to avoid it. A main part of this was social media (see #1 above) but there were other aspects in my life, including watching mindless TV, checking my email too often, or even agreeing to commitments I didn’t want to be a part of. I eliminated distractions on my phone, starting saying “No” to things I didn’t want to do, and prioritized my time for the things that I wanted to be doing.

When I read a book or article I really enjoy I always make the attempt to reach out to the author and let them know. However, Cal Newport is really hard to get a hold of. He doesn’t publicize his e-mail and he doesn’t use social media. If you try to write him through his website chances are he won’t respond, and he likes it that way. I admire that - he has sought out seclusion for the sole purpose of pure, uninterrupted creativity and focus. Sounds like an incredible way to live, don’t you agree?

I have a long way to go on my “Deep Work” journey but it’s made a huge difference in the work I do and how satisfied I am with my efforts. I’m hoping to continue on this path to learn even quicker and produce at an even higher level.

If you’re anything like me, I’m guessing if you force yourself to recognize how you’re spending your time you’ll wish you’d read “Deep Work” a lot sooner and put it into practice. I know I do.

As Cal Newport says, “Clarity about what matters provides clarity about what does not.”