pro tip

Removing Barriers

A couple months ago I wrote about the fulfillment I was getting from virtual shows. Online shows meant I had removed all of the mundane tasks that usually came with doing a performance.

Since then I’ve been trying to find other ways to remove barriers from other parts of my life.

I got our piano tuned and redesigned the area around it. There’s nothing blocking my path to it now and nothing sitting on top of it. I just sit down, lift the cover, and play.

While my feet are healing I’ve turned to cycling. Living in a high-rise makes it a bit of a process: usually my bike is way back in the corner of the apartment, so I’ve been having to lift it over my desk, through a doorway, maneuver it around a corner, and out the door. So, we put a stand right next to the front door to make it easier. Now, it’s not such a hassle. I see it every day and get excited to use it.

Having to do so many virtual shows has forced me to keep my desk clear, which means I’ve been able to get more work done. I’ve been writing even more than usual, playing my keyboard at the desk, and even editing some long-forgotten video projects.

The point is that there will always be things that stand between where you are now and what you hope to be doing. Those barriers may be few or many, but they’ll always exist. The goal is to eliminate as many of them as possible so that the distance between you and that thing, whatever it may be, gets shorter and shorter. Eventually, you barely even notice the barriers. You’ll just think to yourself “I want to do X” and then BAM! you’re doing it.

When I do live shows I’m my own director, producer, head of marketing, box office manager, graphic designer, travel agent, scriptwriter, and more. Not to mention that I also have to perform the show! It gets to be pretty exhausting and as a result, I get burnt out and start to dread doing it. Even the show itself.

So, the last time we did a show I bit the bullet and hired some people to do the things I didn’t want to do. Yes, it was more money (more on that next week) but it was worth it in the long run. It freed me up to focus on what I’m best at: writing and performing.

I know this sounds obvious, but how often do you find yourself facing a series of annoying tasks that you have to do first just to be able to do something you enjoy? It happens to me all the time.

Doing virtual shows forced me to rethink many aspects of my life. One second I’m clicking the play button, the next I’m live on the internet doing a show. Nothing else stands in my way between what I was just doing and what I’m meant to be doing.

So, what else could I simplify in my life? Turns out, just about everything.

We used to have a studio across town. In the beginning it was exciting. We’d go there all the time just to get creative. But over time, it became a bit of a hassle to drive over, find parking, and drag our gear inside. Then, they closed down the surrounding area for construction and we started only going over for appointments.

So, we set out to find a new studio with easier access and fewer barriers to success. Our new location is perfect. It’s within walking distance, so there’s no excuse to be there as often as possible. It’s smaller, which makes it easier to keep our sights focused on one project at a time. And, it’s cheaper, so we’re less worried about the financial risk and pushing ourselves creatively and artistically in ways we weren’t able to before.

What else?

I pay a little more for my gym membership. Not because it’s nicer (it is) but because of proximity. No need to take the bus or train to workout. I only have to walk a clock from home and then I can get to work.

Part of my foot rehab is to stretch every day, so I’ve made a yoga area at home. The gear used to be stored in a closet out of reach, but not any more. Now it’s there when I need it and is easy to utilize at a moment’s notice.

I could go on and on. This isn’t some huge revelation but it is something that’s been helping me in my life and might help you, too.

Basically, my goal is to make doing whatever I want in life as easy as spending money online. A maximum of two clicks, one if it’s Amazon prime. You know how it goes… “Hmm do I really need a bright pink spatula with a UFO on it? Well, it’s only 10 bucks…” Before you know it, you’ve added it to your cart and clicked “FINISH ORDER”. Then, twelve hours later, the spatula arrives in a box five sizes too big.

That’s how easy it should be to do the things you want to do. Although, fair warning, sometimes doing the things you want in life take a little bit longer than one day delivery…but that’s okay. I don’t need stuff INSTANTLY…I’m willing to be patient, as long as it’s for the things I enjoy.

Magic Words That Really Work

As a performer I use certain words and phrases to get people to cooperate and make me look good onstage. When used correctly these words work wonders.

The best part? You can use most of these special phrases in your everyday life to be a better conversationalist, remember people’s names, and put people at ease.

They may not be as cool as “wingardium leviosa” but these are real-life magic words that really work.

"Good To See You": Use this phrase every time you greet someone. If it’s the first time you’ve met them they’ll think you’re just being nice. Or, if you’ve met them before they’ll be convinced you remember them…even if you completely forgot! 

"Remind Me Of Your Name": This is my go-to phrase anytime I forget someone’s name. By asking someone to remind you they’ll wonder if they weren’t memorable enough the first time you were introduced, or maybe they just never told you their name in the first place! You’re subtlety placing the blame on them, without making them feel bad. Sneaky, huh?

"Yes, and…": I was having a conversation recently and the other person said “Not only that but…” in response to a point I made. Even though they were being positive about what I had told them, I couldn’t stop thinking about the negative words they had used like “not” and “but”. Instead, try saying “Yes, and…” to build on someone’s thoughts in a positive manner. It will make them feel good about their ideas and they’ll be more likely to agree with you, too. (Plus, if you ever move to Chicago you’ll fit right in.)

"Tell Me More": When you’re having a conversation, pay attention for the best moment to ask the other person to “tell you more”. By doing so, you’re searching for the conversation they want to be having. You really have to pay attention to use this phrase, which means you’ll get bonus points for actually being a great listener. When used correctly, “tell me more” will lead to some of the most fascinating conversations you’ve ever had.

"No Worse Than Me": Sometimes I need to have volunteers help with a strange task during the show, such as shuffling cards or drawing a picture. Usually people are a little hesitant, saying something like “Oh, I’m a terrible artist!” or something similar. I quickly say “Don’t worry, you’re no worse than me!” to put them at ease. For a split second, it makes us equals and takes the pressure off. I’ve just started using this one in the past month but it really works!

So there you go…some new magic words to go along with “please” and “thank you”. Try them out and let me know if they work for you!


Other Thoughts:

  • I’m headlining at the Chicago Magic Lounge next weekend, September 19-22. Get tickets here.

  • Never miss a post! Click the button above or go here to Join The Mystery!

  • Within the past week I had one of the worst shows of my life and one of the best in the same 24 hour span. I’ll write about it in greater detail for a future Thursday Thoughts post, but it just goes to show that there are always new things to learn, you can always get better, and nothing is ever that big of a deal.