connections

Connection

Something I struggle with a lot is where my chosen profession fits in the world. At best it seems entertaining and at worst it feels silly and trite. But there’s one thing I keep coming back to that keeps me from quitting. 

Connection.

The key to my success as an entertainer has been finding a way to connect with my audiences. I’m not talking about laughter or applause. That’s definitely important and I want those things, too, but I’m talking about something more specific.

When I connect with an audience member it means that they saw themselves in my work. It means they found some kind of underlying message or truth that resonated with them more than any mind reading demonstration ever could.

It’s taken me years to realize this, but once I did I’ve felt more fulfilled and more successful in my career than I ever did before.

Think about it. I bet that your favorite movie or book or song probably connects with you in an utterly profound and personal way. It may have a beautiful melody or a hilarious plot, but the truth is you probably found yourself saying “That is so true!” or “I thought I was the only person who felt that way!”

That’s what connection is all about.

The best inspiration for what I do never comes from within the confines of my art. Rather, I look outside my discipline to find people (much smarter than myself) with ideas that apply to my chosen art form, too. The great thing about seeking inspiration is that the answers you seek are already there - you just have to keep looking.

And I’ve been looking in some really unique places.

Legendary choreographer and dancer Martha Graham has a great interview where she talks about connection. It’s worth a watch just to hear her perfectly sum up why art matters and is so important.

“There is always one person to whom you speak in the audience. One.” she says.

In an interview with Seth Meyers, tennis icon Billie Jean King compares being on the tennis court to being onstage in a theatre. I’d never thought about it that way before.

“It’s about the audience,” she comments. “My job is to connect with them, so they go home at night and say ’That was unbelievable!' They connected and they want to go back.”

When I feel especially low or wonder if what I do really matters, it always helps to think of those quotes and remind myself that it can be very important, as long as I connect with others.

Anything I do onstage has one main set of criteria: it has to be about other people. It’s all about the audience. When your work is in service to other people you can’t go wrong.

When I set out to write this blog I wasn’t sure what shape it would take. Originally, I had two goals - to be positive and to post every week - but, over time, a third goal emerged. 

Somehow I found a way to make the experiences of being a mind reader about more than just performing. Now my main goal is to take what I do and find a way to connect it with you.

I can’t even begin to tell you how many people have written me to say “Wow, I read your blog post today and it really spoke to me! I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately and really appreciated your thoughts.”

That’s the connection I seek and, I feel, the secret to being successful in anything you do.

Make Them Care

MAKE THEM CARE.

Those three words are written on the wall in my office. I put them in the inside cover of my notebooks and scrawl them on my hand in sharpie when I’m on the road.

Everything I work on starts with those three words.

I’m not naive, I know that people don’t come to my shows to see me. They’re on a date night or a work event, they got a free ticket or just wanted a fun night out. Rarely are they a fan of me, or even a fan of mind reading.

It’s my job to MAKE THEM CARE.

Think about it: those people could literally be anywhere else. They have instant access to millions of videos and movies on YouTube and Netflix, Hamilton is playing downtown, the Chicago zoo has free admission. They could have been anywhere.

So why would I waste their time when they made the choice to spend an hour with me? 

It’s up to me to MAKE THEM CARE.

When I perform I have to shove aside my ego and think about the audience’s experience first and foremost. I don’t want to pander but I also can’t let myself be too didactic. They don’t want a lecture or a history lesson, they just want to be entertained.

Want to know the real secret to making people care?

The trick is to make everything about them. Whatever you do, put other people first. Share wisdom and inspire others. Lead by example and be positive. Demonstrate through your actions that hard work, enthusiasm, and kindness always pay off. Be the kind of person that people want to emulate, not imitate.

I’m on a mission this year to be more positive and encouraging to everyone I meet. I’m looking to make meaningful connections both on and off stage. I’m trying to be more supportive and thoughtful and helpful as much as I possibly can.

It turns out that making other people happy for no reason makes you tremendously happy in return. And when you care about others it makes them care about you