There’s a moment that keeps popping up during a lot of the programs I enjoy. It happens on NPR, it happens on talks shows, it happens on the news.
The interviewer will ask their guest a question, wait for an answer, and then…just move on. They don’t acknowledge the answer. They don’t expand on it or get into a deeper conversation. They just cross that question off their list and ask the next one. It drives me crazy.
I also see this moment happen in live shows (remember those?) that I go to. The performer asks a volunteer a personal question, the volunteer responds, and the performer plunges ahead with their script without even responding to the volunteer’s answer.
When you ignore someone’s response you’re missing on a huge opportunity to create a memorable moment. Chances are the first answer they give isn’t going to be all that exciting, but if you’re willing to dig deeper then you’ll likely encounter something unforgettable.
This is part of the reason why I love long form podcasts like “The Joe Rogan Experience”, “Under The Skin” with Russell Brand, or “WTF” with Marc Maron. Often the conversations on those shows can go on for several hours. They’re full of tangents and interruptions but they always cover interesting, uncharted territory. If I was going to diagram traditional media I would draw a straight line from point A to point B. But a marathon conversation on a podcast? That’s more like a meandering, squiggly line. It’s messy, but ultimately it covers more ground and is much more compelling.
Much of the intoxicating appeal of those podcasts (and others) is the host’s insatiable curiosity to learn as much as possible about their guests. They want to get into the weeds. For every interesting answer they receive, they have 2 or 3 follow up questions. They get philosophical. They get deep. They want to hash things out on the air, even if it isn’t quite as polished as a late night talk show. They don’t have talking points — they’re just talking. And I can’t stop listening.
As always, everything comes down to connection. Every encounter we have is an opportunity to leave a lasting impression on another person. But that’s never going to happen if you aren’t actively listening and acknowledging what other people have to say.
No one remembers the people who barely make an attempt to hold a conversation. But everyone remembers the person who asks thoughtful questions, listens to the answers, and responds accordingly.
The next time you have a chance encounter with someone, pay attention to what you’re doing and treat that exchange like one of those squiggly lines. Don’t be in a hurry to get onto your next question or your next task. Just listen to what they have to say and see where it leads you. Be interested and inquisitive. Dig deeper.
